


protector

by daisy_chains



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Gen, merlin needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 18:11:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15078797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisy_chains/pseuds/daisy_chains
Summary: Merlin protects everyone to the best of his ability, and when that fails, he cleans up his messes.





	protector

Merlin is, by nature, a protector. He sees someone - or some _thing_ \- in trouble, and he leaps to their defense without hesitation. 

This is how he reveals his magic - his _magic_ , the thing he’d promised his mother to keep secret over and over again - to Gaius. This is how he ends up in the dungeons on his second day in Camelot, then in the stocks. This is how he ends up servant to Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot - _Camelot_ , the place that would sooner burn him at the stake if they caught even a hint of what he is. This is how he almost sends Gwen - sweet, kind, innocent Gwen - to the pyre in his place.

Merlin protects everyone to the best of his ability, and when that fails, he cleans up his messes. 

_Morgana_ , the winds whisper, as if he needs the reminder of his gravest error, of the one he failed over and over and over again. 

_I tried to help_ , he whispers back, the weight of all he has seen and done bleeding through in his exhausted, _haunted_ tone. The winds care not, just as bitingly freezing as always, so Merlin ignores them as best he can where he stands in an oh-so-familiar clearing with his head tipped back, roaring at the sky.

“ _O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes_!” The harsh, guttural voice stings his throat in a way it hasn’t since the first time he spoke in the dragons’ tongue. 

_This is the price of your_ protection, _Emrys_ , the winds mock, their whispers replaced with shouts as they grow harsher. _Your protection always comes at the expense of someone else, maybe it’s time you suffer the costs for a change_.

The beating of giant, leathery wings create winds of their own, flooding the clearing with more noise - _with more shouting_ \- and for a split second, he almost runs. Not out of fear of the golden-eyed, manipulative creature of magic answering his summonings, but of learning of another task he must complete for his seemingly never ending _destiny_.

Often, he wonders if a better name for him would have been _pawn_ or _freak_ or _monster_. Not _immortal_ , not unless the fates merely wish to remind him of his curse. His curse to forever walk the earth, serving destiny because he knows nothing else. 

Nevertheless, Merlin remains. Kilgharrah lands with a mighty boom, sending a fresh wave of numbingly cold air crashing over him, sending shivers down his spine. 

“Why have you summoned me, young warlock?” The dragon asks, as if he doesn’t already know the reason. 

_Help_ , the winds growls, _of course he’s asking for help, he learned from the best and you are worse than even he_!

“There’s -” _yet another_ “- threat to Camelot. A magical one that I am unsure how to defeat.” 

And so Merlin listens and memorizes the spells required, just as he always does, no longer pretending to be unaffected by the words of the winds. The Great Dragon, if he notices, does not mention the obvious change in demeanor. 

Soon enough, Kilgharrah takes off, disappearing in the night sky once again. Merlin stands where he’s stood for the past hour, body frozen stiff and knees unwilling to move after being locked in position for so long. He stands there for however long, not caring for how the moon rises in the sky then lowers, signaling the approaching dawn. 

The winds die down until they are barely audible murmurs, the sharp words of the night replaced with the daylight’s soothing comforts. _You did try_ , they say, surprisingly kind as they contradict their earlier remarks, _you did try and though you have made mistakes, you keep trying. You must keep trying_.

As the rising sun melts the weary ice from his bones, Merlin moves. Hesitantly. Afraid. Nevertheless, he moves, the winds that had previously torn him down now building him back up, giving him the courage to go forth and _protect_.

 _I don’t know if I can_ , he responds, not ready to trust himself. Never ready.

 _Of course you can_ , the winds say, gently ruffling his unruly hair and tickling his too-large ears. _Of course you can, Emrys, our immortal protector_.


End file.
